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Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Libido....where??

Day 17

Alcohol and libido are an interesting pairing.  I haven't seen that much written on this topic or I've just missed it in my blog surfing.

Because I would succumb to the wine witch primarily at home in the evenings, I admit to more than my fair share of morning conversations that went something like this:

Me: G'morning sweetie.  Love you.  (Trying to avoid breathing on him as I feel like a cat shat in my mouth while I was sleeping)
Him:  G'morning love you too.
Me:  That was fun last night......  (me wondering exactly what we did, if we did anything, thinking we probably did)
Him: Yes, that was.  (big grin on his face)
Me: (Thinking...shit, I don't remember anything.. was it good? was I good?)
Me: Great! (I say)....umm...did we umm....??
Him:  (Smiling)  Yes.  You don't remember?
Me:  Sure I do (Not really).  Most of it anyway.  Just had a lot of wine I guess.
Him:  (Just continuing to grin and I can tell his mind is NOT thinking about my drinking....)

Alcohol would alternately cause me to be "too tired" at night and wanting nothing else than to go to sleep or the opposite where I felt like we were trying to be the main characters of an Austin Powers movie. 

Husband has a big libido and I'm always trying to keep up.  This is part of the reason I am fine with him drinking.  They say it can affect a man that way.  He has been a drinker (not, though, to the extent that I have) ever since I've known him.  If his libido is this high, at 50, and he drinks 1/2 bottle to a bottle of wine night....there is NO WAY I want him to stop.  Heaven help me if he did.

I suppose I should be grateful to be with a man like this at my age but I struggle to not feel that I'm letting him down.  You know that old saying "Don't let the horse leave the barn hungry" or something like that. (Prior husband liked to look for fillies...so I'm probably a little overly sensitive on this topic.)

I am really proud of myself and happy to have made it to Day 17.  But I HAVE been super tired at the end of the day.  I find that my libido is a bit like Elvis and seems to have "left the building" more often than not lately. I pull through the moment and pony up but I truthfully would have preferred to lay like a lizard in the sun and just go to sleep.

Like a post I read in another blog, I, too, feel like everyone needs a piece of me and I'm tired and don't want to be touched some evenings.  Tired of taking care of/organizing everything.

While I have more energy during the day, it's as if once I've made it through wine o'clock, the effort of that alone just completely wipes me out.  I think wine mitigated this feeling and made evenings easier in this respect, made me more relaxed and therefore ready for late evening activities.

I find myself wanting wine, in part, to be fun again.  To be ready for things. Maybe this feeling of lethargy will pass.  I don't want it to affect us and am nervous about that aspect of our relationship.

Hubby is being very supportive, I have to say that for him.  We are trying to be strategic about this.  But I look forward to getting more of "my Mojo back, baby!"  Hoping that this is part of perseverance and there is light at the end of this tunnel.....

HD

11 comments:

  1. Your post cracked me up! I am in the opposite school. When I was drinking I had ZERO libido! I guess that's how much I drank! Yikes! Can you arrange for you and your hubby to "get together" BEFORE wine o'clock? Not sure of your work schedules, but maybe it's doable on the weekends? When I got my BC diagnosis years back, I felt like I would be losing party of my "womanhood" so every day, when my husband came home, I'd be upstairs waiting for him for a quickie! And it had to be a quickie because we had 3 kids downstairs that I would sit in front of the TV with a snack while we were busy and they only stayed put for so long! So, maybe if you can swing it, do it right after work and then you are done for the night! hahaha! Hmmm....maybe I'll have to try this tonight! xo

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  2. Yey! You wrote about libido!! I've been wanting to post about this myself. I got as far as sober poops but haven't had the nerve yet about the bedroom. So thanks for taking care of that! I need alcohol to loosen up and am pretty restricted without it so I have a lot of work to do in this area. I too have a husband with plenty of libido and while it's so wonderful that he's eager often, I would prefer to curl up on the couch and cuddle instead. I've been doing as SO53 already suggested and timing it for well before wine o'clock and that helps. I'm putting on a bit of a show these days until my own mojo comes back.

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    1. haha! Sober poops! Going to have to read back for that one! I have more to say on that topic than libido as mine seems to have left the country, never mind the building!

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  3. We're all here to take one for the tribe! You did poops, I did libido..I fear I am about to do zits next...at my age?? Sigh. Must be dehydration.. Good advice SO53 as always! And RB you know the problem with a cuddle is that it's like a red flag to the bull! Then again if I follow SO53's advice first, maybe benign cuddles can occur later!

    (Oh, and about the poop, I SOOO thought the emoji was a poop, had no idea it was a chocolate ice cream until I read your poop post comments again. Lol. See where our minds go?)

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  4. HD- I got zits too! Congrats on day 17! xx

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    1. Seriously? Oh geesh, I better start drinking a lot more water. Did they finally go away?

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    2. There are a couple of malingerers but there's been an improvement!

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  5. Okay, here's my take!
    We have found that our sex life is better than when we were drinking.
    It took awhile to reset everything, but now our best times are 10:00 am (on weekends), or by 8:00 pm.
    At first I thought I missed drunk sex, but now I am so happy, as things are more intense!
    xo
    Wendy

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    1. Yay, there is hope! :-) Morning weekends are great, I'm awake. No time on weekday mornings, unless we get up before roosters, defaults us to evenings......and I'm exhausted. Trying to rally! I didn't think I really had any withdrawal symptoms but this evening lethargy is interesting. Guess I never noticed it before if I was under the influence!

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  6. I read a Canadian woman's memoir (I searched for it but can't find it right off), and she said she felt compelled to make love with her husband whenever he suggested partly so that he would overlook the many drawbacks to being with a drinking spouse. When she stopped drinking, she felt secure enough in herself to set new boundaries and to be able to decline now and then without thinking she was risking the relationship. Just a thought ...

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    1. Interesting! Setting boundaries is important for sure!

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