My Lists

Monday, June 27, 2016

A New Normal

We rented the movie Cinderella, the new one, on Saturday night.  It was one I had really been wanting to watch.  My son was not home and he had requested that he not be put through this torture and that I watch it sometime without him.

Hubby was being a love and agreed to watch this movie with me in the first place. But....we had an issue with our video player that for some reason started pausing the movie every 8 seconds near the end, during the best part! This turned the movie into quite a lot longer production than it should have been.

 He concurred that the special effects and costumes were wonderful but I don't think he was anticipating watching it for a long as it took.  Bless his heart, he even started drinking my alcohol free bubbly at the beginning.

However, after an hour of fairy tale hell and then the issues with the player, I think he drank his own full bottle of red during the last part.  It didn't bother me.  I was watching a favorite story and snuggled in the arms of my own prince.  Serious tolerance was at play on his part and if he needed to self-medicate to get through it, so be it.

I observed both of us and was pleasantly surprised that kissing his red wine breath at the end of the movie just tasted good and didn't invoke any frustration, disappointment or cravings on my part.

It's not that I don't have some cravings.   But here at (just counted) Day 65, they are fleeting cravings. Wouldn't it be nice to have a donut or a croissant?  Wouldn't it be nice to have a glass of wine?  I like this new normal.

I have "stress", many "stressors", in my life right now which may be part of the reason I am feeling distracted.  But I do not have "STRESS" in my life.

My hubby and I were discussing a multitude of stresses after work Friday night.  I said "boy, a glass of wine sounds good, do you think I could have one right now?"  The man is amazing.  He knew better than to tell me "no".  What he said was "Let's not tonight, we're tired." Of course he meant "me" not "we".

I said "do you think I can't handle it yet? I'm wondering if I could have just a glass now and be okay?"  I saw a very quick flash of deer in the headlights but then he said, "Honey, you have been doing so well toward your goal, tonight we are very stressed, so while, under calmer circumstances, you may be able to take it or leave it, tonight might not be the best time to test those waters again for the first time.  Why don't you hold off and see how you feel tomorrow?"

Smart man with his response on multiple fronts.  But he was right.  I agreed, didn't give it a second thought then, told myself I would think about it tomorrow and poured myself my regular AF concoction.  Then next day, after the stresses passed, I had no desire to drink and enjoyed my evening of Cinderella.

Last night we watched In the Heart of the Sea about the true story that inspired Moby Dick.  Excellent flick!  Cinderella is good but better have real wine for the Fella!

My thought for the day:  Cravings will come and go, that I know, but, even if they amass, they do pass.

HD

14 comments:

  1. They sure do pass. And amass they could. Day long cravings are not unusual I am learning. Those too shall pass. So great to see a post from you my friend!

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    1. Thanks! Nice to have the time to post a bit again!

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  2. Your hubby IS amazing. The word No would definitely have got my back up and I would have drankmoutnof spite lol. He handled it well, he obviously knows you very well. I cannot believe you came that close to having a drink and i am very proud of you for not doing it xxx

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    1. Yes, he knows better than to use the NO word with me.. he's getting the hang of that!

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  3. I am going to use that line mentally, cravings amass but will pass. May I suggest that you make some kind of remark to hubby about how well he dealt with Friday so he knows he did the right thing. How do you feel about saying that about the wine? I am not sure if I picked up clearly if you were relieved/worried/upset after or not. Well done though a bit more sober muscle built.

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    1. I sort of just mentioned wine, I think, to see if he would give me permission even though I really didn't want it. I was relieved he did not because I'm not sure if I actually would have gone forth and tried a glass or stopped myself on my own.

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  4. Have you considered asking him to not drink when you are together?
    it seems like it would be a supportive move, and he sounds as if he is supportive
    It's tough to watch others drink, even if we have decided we don't want to.

    Anne

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    1. No, it really doesn't bother me any more or less to have him drink. Cravings for me aren't triggered by seeing wine or others drinking...it's more whether I am stressed or not. He seems to have a stop-meter and I didn't so I don't begrudge him unwinding with it.

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  5. When I tell my hubs I have an urge, he helps me, too!
    At first he didn't, but now he knows what to say.
    That's a good guy you have there!
    Cravings do pass, if we give them some time and space.
    Happy Day 65!
    xo
    wendy

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  6. I want to see that movie. Yes I'm finding I think less about drinking these days but I still get stressed and haven't got another way to make it go away yet. Congratulations on day 65 almost 10 weeks! Your husband sounds like a great man. PDTG

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    1. I would phrase it as he is a rather "smart" man. Lol He's pretty great too tho...most of the time.

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  7. HD, you continue to kick serious butt. Day 65! That is truly awesome. Earlier on that felt so far away and now here you are. Keep going. You are doing great. I love my new normal also and I want to keep going, too. <3 :)

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    1. So excited you hit 100! I can't wait to get there!!!

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