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Thursday, July 14, 2016

It's OK, there are no rules....

I love checking in on blogs and reading everyone's stories.  It's so helpful to see what others are going through, their struggles, not only with alcohol, but with other things many of us deal with in life.

I went through a phase where the blog is solely what kept me from drinking.  I absolutely did not want to say I failed.  For me, at that time, drinking and having to say I drank would indicate failure.

I'm not sure why I thought that way.  It WAS a helpful obstacle that kept me continuing to try and go AF, I'll give it that....so I suppose my shame served some purpose.   I wish I hadn't felt that way though.  The word failure is so loaded that I almost want to remove it from my vocabulary.

There are no rules for this "quitting the drink" thing.  There is no right way nor wrong way.  The sober universe, while often referred to as that, isn't just for those who get sober.  It's just a very supportive place to air your thoughts and try to get some additional support for whatever your goals may be with regards to alcohol.

We all set goals, day in and day out.  Some we achieve, some we don't.  Some we give up on, some we persevere and keep trying to achieve.

I read another blog where the blogger spoke of a drinking a little bit.  That's how it should be.  We should feel comfortable talking about whatever level of drinking works for us.  For those who can moderate or even choose to try, great!  For those who decide abstinence is the best for them, wonderful.  We can support all.

I no longer feel ashamed to blog that I had a glass of chardonnay.  I haven't yet, not sure I ever will, but I feel comfortable that I can.  If I decide to drink again, I won't feel embarrassed to say so.  I love the bloggers that try, and try again and are still trying.  I love their candidness, their honesty.  It's nice to connect with someone who can admit they are struggling with something.

If someone does fall off their wagon, it's just that - THEIR wagon, and how they perceive it.  My wagon is just the one taking me forward, making me feel better.  If that can include wine again someday, so be it.  It may not.  Right now, for many reasons, I still don't want to touch the stuff again.

We are all here because somehow, the alcohol became too important in our life and we just want to put it where it needs to be....either totally gone or allowed but not at front center stage....a very personal decision for everyone.

Blogging about our struggles is nothing to be ashamed of.  In fact, that blogging will definitely reach somebody else who feels exactly the same way!

I think I kind of rambled today, but it was on my mind....and it's my damn blog! :-)


18 comments:

  1. Dear HD,
    Our life stories are ours to tell, or not if we choose.
    Blogging helped me heal from my inability to hear music from my cochlear implant, from feeling isolated because of my deafness, it helps me heal when my depression is bad, and it helps me connect with people when I feel lonely.
    Just the act of writing helps heal us.
    Much Love,
    Wendy

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  2. Oh do I love this. My thoughts exactly.

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    1. See, I knew it would resonate with someone exactly - haha!!

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  3. Great post HD. And so true. Everyone's journey is there own. Blogging has me to stay sober too and I am so thankful for my blogging world and all my online friends. A x

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    1. I feel the same. It's really been nice to have this place to "go to"!

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  4. It is your journey.
    I think all of us just want happiness...for ourselves and for others.

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    1. That's the crux...the search for happiness...alcohol doesn't provide it!

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  5. Yep there are no rules. I love being able to read everyone's thoughts. I still think I will have a glass of wine again one day in my life. Right now is not that time for me though. PDTG x

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  6. I never lied on the blog despite wanting to sometimes, I thought who would know if I did have a drink and just pretended. But I would have known and I couldn't have carried on blogging knowing I had been dishonest. I do feel sad for people who do drink again even one glass BUT .... I think that is because I look at it through my filter I.e. One glass is the slippery slope back into full on addiction. That may not be true for everyone but I worry for them because of how I am. You are right though each to their own.

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    1. Yes, but you are also right to worry when I, and others, talk of some day....there is a lot of evidence as to why trying just one won't work....but I guess we each need to get convinced ourselves. Your sharing has helped me immensely!

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  7. I'm always happier making my own rules up, but since I've been reading other blogs I can definitely see the benefits of a 100 day challenge like GG is doing, or committing to a year off alcohol. It's enough time to see the positive changes and deal with challenges AF so what starts out as a rule hopefully becomes a long term choice. Great post HD xx

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    1. So true...I've been thinking about what next, and am actually considering 1 year as my goal. Just to have to go through every holiday, every season, work fluctuations, etc, all without alcohol. Time will tell.

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  8. Darn tootin' it's your damn blog! And a damn fine one it is. Your journey has been so similar to mine- I am so happy to read your thoughts because I can really relate. Thank you for sharing. :) <3

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  9. Catching up on your blog and I love this. :)

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